My heart felt like it was trying to join my Adam's apple somewhere near where I needed to breathe.  The hallway was muted and empty.  I raised my hand to knock on the door and as my knuckles brushed the door, I thought to myself "could you have done that any softer"?

Thankfully, I heard a couple steps. What a nightmare if I had to knock twice for being such a wimp.  I'm sure my face turned an even deeper red as this thought crossed my mind.  The door opened and light flooded out, it was like an angelic chorus had sung "Ahhhh" and the beams of light came out of the gap.  The door opened wider and there was this vision.  My mind flashed.  There was the girl who kissed me after that slow dance during the high school mixer.  There was Janet, the first girl to rest her hand not so subtly on my leg that summer at the pool.  There was Maria, the college freshman, who snuck me into her dorm room before curfew and snuck me out before breakfast the next morning.  There was Suzanne, our first date was supposed to be to go out to dinner but instead we had some kind of animal magnetism that I took one step in her apartment and we started ripping clothes off.  Many more exciting feelings from way, way way back in my history flashed by like they say your life does in an accident.

But now, standing in front of me, was quite literally a dream.  I saw the picture with the banner across the face and I tried to complete the visage when I made that first call to schedule.  The body type seemed perfect - something completely different from what I had seen for 20 years and something I desired.  But who knows with this chance meeting who would open the door.  Did I ever screw up!  You could take my image, run it through the shredder, go back to the drawing board, make the best picture you could and still miss the package by about 50%.  Hair, face, shoulders, the curve of that little black dress down to a good distance north of the knees, silk stockings down to pretty little feet.  She smiled at me, said my name and I was hypnotized.

I'm going to disappoint a lot of you with an old saying - "A gentleman never kisses and tells".

I'm not going to tell you her name, I'm not going to go into crass details.  I'm just going to share some feelings.

I've had a big change in my life and discovered some things (left for future blogs) but let's just say it has been quite a while since I've had such deep primal feelings with such satisfying results. 

If you've read anything about this provider/client or hobbyist world, then you know all the details and how they fall into place.  I was a new client for Fantasys, a first time meeting of two folks who nothing about each other and were asking a lot of questions without saying a word.  I didn't get a big kiss on entry but those eyes that greeted me were deep pools inviting me in for a swim.  A beautiful smile that would make the best toothpaste commercial cower in shame.  I felt a wonderful warm hand take mine and lead me into the room - this was a good thing because I'm not really sure I still had legs under me. 

There was still a lttle fear, a corner of my mind was thinking "the police wouldn't go to this elaborate a scheme to trap somebody" and thankfully I was right.  Good thing I snapped out of that because I was getting asked for ID by this cutest gal in the world.  Anything you want, darlin' hit my brain cells.  There were phone calls for security and scheduling and small talk in a prelude to the dance.  Some things were just a blur but you know the drill.  And I was talking...  That nervous chit-chat of anything that may be mildly interesting to be a distraction.

And then there was that comfortable hand, I'm not sure where it first landed but again I returned to that swimming pool in my junior year of high school.  What is it about "that" touch from a woman?  It is electric but not jolting.  She hasn't touched a single thing that would be considered erotic in any stretch of the imagination.  Sometimes the hand rests on your arm, sometimes the leg, one gal was so bold as to flatten her hand on my chest one night, but "that" touch with a knowing smile and something in the body language that just says "game on".  For me, it was easily eight years since I have felt "that" touch.  My back was not going support the weight of my head much longer after the touch.  She did not have to tell me to relax - I was already there.

In response to both of us moving backwards to relaxation mode I do remember one thing - my palm rested on the back of the most perfect thigh I had felt in some time.  A stocking was there giving the artifical feel of silky - my hand wandered to find this delicious piece of lace at the top of the stocking.  Had I stopped there I could die happy.  Later I was going to find that the skin under that stocking was created by some evil genius.

This was one heck of a way to start my foray into "this" world.  I could joke and call it my dark side.  But it is not so dark, just human.  I am a man craving the company of a beautiful woman.  At my age, I am running into women with armloads of excuses not to act like a woman who loves men.  

After my visit with this angel, completely relaxed, I had to stop at the store on my way home for some groceries (otherwise I wasn't eating breakfast).  There's a guy Adam who works the register and I'm a regular.  "What's got you in a good mood this evening?" he said.  At that point, I realized that I had been smiling the entire drive home.  "Oh, I just saw this most amazing young woman", I said with an open-ended smirk.  "Yes", Adam said, "there are one or two nice ones around here."  Oh Adam, if you only knew!